planet gong archives

University of Errors

New Faculties

Rev Quickly (Adrian Stubbs), 2011-05-19


"Per Errata Ad Astra"

Students shall fail to grasp the following course areas at the University's Department For Not Taking Part

Details remain sketchy, but students will attend the Centre For Irrational Hope, aiming to misunderstand the following:
  • Circular Thought
  • Unwarranted Optimism
  • Ridiculous Oversights

Modular units 'Study of Holes & Wistful Glances', and 'History of the Bubbly Cough' are taken within the School of Daft Experiments, and require additional insurance cover.

The Faculty Of Utter Balderdash is lead by the Chair of Showing Off.
This is a sandwich course, and can be eaten afterwards.


"Dare To Fail"
Our Mission:
Students shall watch things going wrong, and ensure they can repeat the blunder.
The traditional discipline of Failure Studies is augmented by the latest Disinformation Technology.
Failure studies comprising:
  • School of Pre-Death Studies and Over-Analysis
  • School of Embarrassing Mishaps
  • School of Inappropriate Behavior
  • Accident Reconstruction Workshops
  • Awkward Moment Analysis
  • Disinformation Technology
Non-transit courses incorporating:
  • Study Of Piss-Pronunciation
  • Study Of Wrong Numbers
  • Blunder Assessment


The Faculty was originally to be called the Faculty Of Ineptitude, but there was an error at the sign maker's. At the heart of studies is the renowned Library Of Missing & Overdue Books. The library operates a 360 degree revolving door policy, which means no one can get in. Students can opt to fail in four of the five key incompetence areas:

  • Pointless Argument
  • Overlooking The Obvious
  • Applied Waiting
Students who opt for either of the additional courses:
  • Self Inversion
  • Silent Wind Studies
will automatically gain a certificate from the Dept of Quizzical Looks, and free entry to the Witless Protection Program.
Part times course are available in:
Folly Management & Shrugging
"Our students learn that there is such a thing as a stupid question!"


The department offers courses in:
  • Heresy & Tittering
  • Furtive Arts & Jostle Studies
  • False Entry Beekeeping
  • Morbid Flux
Well, this is becoming increasingly annoying. You appear to have engaged my bullshit activation facilities, & those are facilities not to be trifled with, lightly.
  • The College Of Lost Knowledge
  • The Faculty Of Zero Inflation
  • The Institute Of Sudden Torpor
  • The School Of Deep Malays! (associated with KL's School Of Drowning)
  • The Centre For Spontaneous Planning
  • The Institute For Very Poor Timing
  • New Diploma in "Negotiating The Flaw"
Now let that be enough !


This is a stripped down course in PHYSICAL ECSTASY (known as PE for shorts*).

  • Professor Meriva Joiner
  • Dr Hardy Worthlett
  • Professor Hastings McDownfall
  • Dr Justin Epton
  • Dr Standon Waite
  • Dr Q. Nicely
  • Dr Eureka De Garlik
  • Professor Toby Ornott
  • Dr Hugh Massey-Ferrer
  • Dr Eileen Dreitbach
  • Dr Hope O'Brandon
  • Dr Blanche Parson-Waters
  • Professor Istvan Kerr
  • Professor Amanda Peebles
  • Dr Steinar Pratt
  • Professor Lacivia Surgess
  • Professor Bernie Bridges


by Damon Murray, aka Proff Spanish Eddie, Medieval IT

  • Reflexapologist dept
  • Prodictobolitics
  • Ear nose triminology +moustache topary
  • Dpt of Moist Perssuasions
  • Flatuatory Georomancacism
  • Bi-polar Blunderbuss Practice
  • Astral Insemination
  • Aural Hughology
  • Involuntary Ejectionolojism
  • Eco-colostomic reverselaxitiviology
  • vibrational screen printing
  • polite shamanism+preserves
  • Gorilla Goolieology
  • Tabs+Yoga
  • Tactile Meditation

You will be tested on this.