Encounters with Witches as Objects!

part 1

ONCE upON a HORNY MOON I was WOBBLY KNEED and pumped up in a BALOONATIC.
MAY the GODDESS SWELP ME thus I cried and FLOUNDERED ABOUT looking for a SCRATCHY VELVET PELT to Perfume my TAKEN BREATH.
BUT THEN - all of a SUDDENLY
YIKES and a GHOST ! I was AGHAST !!
THERE SHE WAS - BACK from my CAVERNOUS PAST like an ECHO in an OSTRITCH BELLY.
IT'S TRUE !! THERE WAS A VERY LONG WAY TO GO to be MEETING MYSELF COMING THE OTHER WAY…

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO ?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?
3 OPTIONS

1. Run Randily forward with tattered jockeys collapsing around the ANKLES
2. CATCH A TAXI TO PERI-PLAXI
3. Render MYSELF INVISIBLE but in the eyes of GNOMES

AND SHE RUSHED TOWARDS ME TOO
BUT AT SUCH A GREAT DISTANCE IT WAS THAT
I RUSHED TOWARDS HER TOO
(repeat)
Teashop
I RUSHED TOWARDS HER TOO
(repeat)
TIL FINALLY IN EARSHOT I COULD HEAR HER VOICE
"Yea o Yo Yo !" I CRIED ENTHUSIASTICALLY TESTACULAR
"Wheeee ! SRI CAPUCCINO LONGFELLO MY GAGA GURU" she SANG in a WHOLESOME VICE
SO
JAMMING on the BRAKES i ignored the VERSES | BRIDGE | & CHORUS
&
STOPPED DED IN MY TRACKS
DO NOT GO INCONSEQUENTIAL IN THIS GOOD LIGHT
I cried…
ON YOUR BACK AND THINK OF FINLAND !!
…Well it was worth a TRY…
AND GUESS WOT !?
IT WORKED
Le GOOD Witch YONI has not passed by HERE
…YET… I OBSERVED !
SO…

[missing]

and so the STORY BEGAN :
IT WAS A DARK & STORMY NIGHT
2 MEN STOOD ON A BRIDGE
one MAN Said to the other
HAVE A LAGER !!
IT WAS THE VOICE OF BANANA-ANANDA
THE GREAT BEER YOGI HYMN-SELVES

Throwing my knees pon the PERSIAN DRUG er RUG
I ENQUIRED BREATHLESSLY
What GREAT WISE DUMN HAVE YOU GOT for these FOOLS EARS O my Kang Kang GURU?

SILENCE
AT LENGTH HE ROSE AND GIVING ME
THE SECRET SIGN
THIS WAS HIS ANCIENT TRUTH:
·
AN ARGENTINE GAUCHO NAMED BRUNO
ONCE SAID THERE IS SOMETHING I DO KNOW
A WOMAN IS FINE
A COW IS DIVINE
BUT A
LLAMA
IS
BUMERO UNO !!!